


Fire and Ice

by Zoe Rayne (MontanaHarper)



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Bittersweet, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-01
Updated: 2004-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-11 20:14:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MontanaHarper/pseuds/Zoe%20Rayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things that should be hard can sometimes be easy, and things that should be easy can sometimes be hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire and Ice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katemonkey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katemonkey/gifts).



> Thanks to Laylah and Vegetariansushi for looking this over, and to Shadowowl for the suggestion that made the whole thing come together.
> 
> Written for the first [Polyficathon](http://community.livejournal.com/polyfic/14083.html).

> Some say the world will end in fire,  
> Some say in ice.  
> From what I've tasted of desire  
> I hold with those who favor fire.  
> But if it had to perish twice,  
> I think I know enough of hate  
> To say that for destruction ice  
> Is also great  
> And would suffice.  
> —Robert Frost

The first time Rogue uses her mutant abilities, it's an accident, a disaster that leaves her shaken and scared. She nearly kills David and she doesn't even understand how or why. She just knows that her simplest touch is devastating, her smallest affection can kill, and so she swears she's not going to touch or be touched ever again.

The second time she uses her mutant abilities, it's on purpose but no less of a disaster. Everything happens so fast—Logan's nightmare and his adrenaline-charged reflexes—and then it's all searing lines of pain and she can't think clearly. She doesn't mean to hurt Logan, but she's afraid of dying and she doesn't know what else to do.

The first time Rogue runs away is the day after David comes out of his coma; she goes to the hospital to see him and he cringes away. She's covered almost head to toe so there's no chance of anyone touching her, but still he's afraid to even have her in the room with him. He doesn't say it, but she can see the words reflected in his eyes: mutant, freak.

The second time she runs away is the day after she nearly kills Logan. Bobby tells her she's broken the cardinal rule of being a mutant: never use your abilities against your own kind. She can't face Professor Xavier, can't stand the idea that he's angry with her for what she did. Her classmates' terrified faces haunt her.

The first time Rogue meets other mutants, it feels right. She recognizes something in Logan—some nameless connection between them—even before he shows his claws. Jean and Cyclops and Storm are like the family she no longer has. A school full of kids just like her—Bobby and John and Kitty and Jubilee—seems like a dream come true.

The second time she meets other mutants, it couldn't feel more wrong. Magneto may not hate and fear her like non-mutants do, but he's just as bad in his own way. He only wants to use her, wants to use her mutant abilities for his own ends. He wants to make her into what people like Senator Kelly already think she is.

The first time Rogue falls in love, it's sparkling and clear, like roses made of ice. There's never been anything less complicated in her life than Bobby's wide blue eyes and welcoming smiles. He holds her gloved hand and they walk around the school grounds, sit on the grass in the shade of oak trees, and talk for hours about everything and nothing.

The second time she falls in love, it's all contradictions: fire and ice, passion and calm. She's not sure how she ended up in the middle of something so complicated, but she's not willing to give up, not on herself and not on Bobby or John. She thinks it'll all be worth it, as long as the three of them can manage to stick together.

The first time Rogue walks into Bobby and John's room, she doesn't bother to knock. She's looking for Bobby, but she finds both of them, together. She can feel the pounding of her pulse and she wants to close her eyes against the vision of too much sweat-slicked skin, wants to turn and run until she forgets the curve of John's back as he arches against Bobby, but she's frozen in place as effectively as if she were one of Bobby's ice sculptures. It's not until John smiles, looking at her from beneath seductively lowered lashes, not until Bobby reaches his hand out to her in wordless invitation, that she finds herself able to move, to turn and walk silently out the door.

The second time she walks into Bobby and John's room, she knocks first. She's not sure what exactly she's looking for, but what she finds is Bobby and John, sitting casually on Bobby's bed and looking like they've been waiting for her. Bobby smiles tentatively, and this time it's John who holds his hand out to her. She closes the door behind herself and crosses the room, stopping just out of reach because she wants to make it clear that while she wants to be a part of what they have, she's not going to risk touching. They understand; she can see it in their eyes, in the trembling of their hands on buttons and zippers, and in the way they angle their bodies as they make love _to_ one another but _for_ her.

The first time Rogue breaks her own rules about touching it's for a kiss and it's not at all what she expects. It's terrifying and exhilarating, and far too easy for her to let it go further than she should, to get lost in the soft press of Bobby's lips against hers. Even after he pulls away she can still feel him, his presence icy-cold on her breath and peaceful in her thoughts.

The second time she breaks her own rules about touching it's for comfort—hers and John's and Bobby's—and it's better than she remembers. She's cautious, keeping her touches light and quick, careful not to linger skin-to-skin. It's different, being a participant in their passion instead of merely a voyeur, and she can't bring herself to regret the decision. Her senses are overwhelmed by ice and fire, by the taste of Bobby and John in her mouth and in her mind. She knows they'll always be part of her now, no matter what.

The first time Rogue feels knives driven into her chest, they're real—razor-sharp adamantium claws—and the first thing she feels is surprise. Even though she knows how dangerous Logan is, she never expected him to hurt her, not even by accident. But it does hurt, and she thinks she might die from the pain if not from the wound.

The second time she feels knives driven into her chest, there's no blood, no outward indication of any wound. But just as surely as Logan's claws pierced her, so do Jean's calm words: "He's with Magneto." She feels Bobby's fingers tighten on hers and she wishes she'd kept the promise to herself, wishes she'd never touched them nor allowed herself to be touched by them, because this is definitely the kind of pain you can die from.


End file.
